This weekend was Mothers Day and as part of our yearly ritual we went to Londonderry and visited my parents and Grandparents.
While we were there my Aunt Mary gave Tammy a gift bag.
Inside were 2 Antique Bear Prints, a Soft and Cuddly Chinese Doll, and some baby socks.
There was also a very nice mothers day card for a mommy to be, explaining that she knows the bear prints don't match the nursery but she really wanted us to have them.
Shortly before she gave the bag to Tammy the two of us sat on the couch and discussed the wait time because I had given her an article explaining what was going on in Chinese International Adoption (written by the director of CCAI). After reading it many things became clear to her and you could tell that she really understands what we are going through now. She is the first family member that really gets it, and it was nice to discuss the adoption with a family member and not have to go over everything and try and make them understand.
We discussing time differences, bonding, lack of sleep, and a number of other topics which are all way past the understanding of anyone else in the family.
So why were these prints so important to her?
Apparently she bought them when she was first married and hoped to use them to decorate her own child's room, and due to her ex-husbands insistence that they would not have children never got to use them. Then after he left her she was in so much financial and emotional distress that she could not have handled an adoption even if she had of thought of it.
Now she is old enough that she has just given up on her dreams of being a mother.
Why did she give the prints to us for Kelly?
I think there are alot of reasons, and there are probably some that I have not even thought of yet.
First, I am the only grandchild that almost never misses a family function and this means that we are the ones that my family sees almost every holiday. She knows that family is important to me, and also that once we finally finish this adoption she will probably see Kelly more often than any of the other children. Also when I was growing up I was the first grandchild and there are only 10 years between the two of us so there were many times in her early teens where I was a playmate of a sort.
I also think that she is living out her dreams of having a child through us and probably wishes that she had of been able to do something similar to our IA earlier in her life. She also sees some of her own struggles with wanting to become a parent and not being able to due to circumstances beyond her control.
I think she had similar feelings when my brother asked her to be Lilly's godmother, but as quickly as the joy came so did the heartbreak when they shuffled the stepmother thing under the carpet. I never thought this was right, but then again I seldom agree with anything my brother and his wife do.
At this point Wyatt is the only little one she sees on a regular basis since my brother is very unreliable when it comes to family functions.
So we will have to buy two nice frame to hang these precious gifts in the nursery and someday we will pack them away so when our little girl gets older and she has her own child she can pass them on to him/her.
This gift is so precious because it is a gift from the heart from a very special person who never wanted anything more than to have a little one to hold and love.
Sounds very similar to our own situation.
We just happened to be in a place emotionally and financially that we could do something about it.
And why did she give them to us now?
I don't know, but I do have a feeling that she probably has been thinking about little ones quite a bit lately between our adoption in progress and Missy being pregnant.
I didn't know about the gift until after we had left, but I will make sure that she is thanked properly the next time I see her.
