Every morning when I take my shower seems to be the time of day when I get the most sadness and anguish over the wait time and the lack of information we are getting from anyone.
Rule changes and no information are taking their toll.
I think it hits me in the shower because it is the only time of the day where I am not thinking about a million things and dealing with them. That and I am still mostly asleep and trying to wake up, and it is also one of the rare occasions when I am alone.
Warm water rushing over me as I wonder when we will finally get our little girl home, and then my mind puts that into perspective and I also start to wonder if we will ever complete this adoption.
It is amazing how sad this makes me and also makes you realize how little control you have over the entire process. At least during the "Paper Chase" you knew what you had to do and where you had to go to do it. Now you just wait until someone half a world away decides that you are worthy of taking care of one of China's orphaned children.
The only thing that keeps you going is the possibility that things will get better, and the ultimate improvement will be a little gitl to take care of and love.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Mothers Day
This weekend was Mothers Day and as part of our yearly ritual we went to Londonderry and visited my parents and Grandparents.
While we were there my Aunt Mary gave Tammy a gift bag.
Inside were 2 Antique Bear Prints, a Soft and Cuddly Chinese Doll, and some baby socks.
There was also a very nice mothers day card for a mommy to be, explaining that she knows the bear prints don't match the nursery but she really wanted us to have them.
Shortly before she gave the bag to Tammy the two of us sat on the couch and discussed the wait time because I had given her an article explaining what was going on in Chinese International Adoption (written by the director of CCAI). After reading it many things became clear to her and you could tell that she really understands what we are going through now. She is the first family member that really gets it, and it was nice to discuss the adoption with a family member and not have to go over everything and try and make them understand.
We discussing time differences, bonding, lack of sleep, and a number of other topics which are all way past the understanding of anyone else in the family.
So why were these prints so important to her?
Apparently she bought them when she was first married and hoped to use them to decorate her own child's room, and due to her ex-husbands insistence that they would not have children never got to use them. Then after he left her she was in so much financial and emotional distress that she could not have handled an adoption even if she had of thought of it.
Now she is old enough that she has just given up on her dreams of being a mother.
Why did she give the prints to us for Kelly?
I think there are alot of reasons, and there are probably some that I have not even thought of yet.
First, I am the only grandchild that almost never misses a family function and this means that we are the ones that my family sees almost every holiday. She knows that family is important to me, and also that once we finally finish this adoption she will probably see Kelly more often than any of the other children. Also when I was growing up I was the first grandchild and there are only 10 years between the two of us so there were many times in her early teens where I was a playmate of a sort.
I also think that she is living out her dreams of having a child through us and probably wishes that she had of been able to do something similar to our IA earlier in her life. She also sees some of her own struggles with wanting to become a parent and not being able to due to circumstances beyond her control.
I think she had similar feelings when my brother asked her to be Lilly's godmother, but as quickly as the joy came so did the heartbreak when they shuffled the stepmother thing under the carpet. I never thought this was right, but then again I seldom agree with anything my brother and his wife do.
At this point Wyatt is the only little one she sees on a regular basis since my brother is very unreliable when it comes to family functions.
So we will have to buy two nice frame to hang these precious gifts in the nursery and someday we will pack them away so when our little girl gets older and she has her own child she can pass them on to him/her.
This gift is so precious because it is a gift from the heart from a very special person who never wanted anything more than to have a little one to hold and love.
Sounds very similar to our own situation.
We just happened to be in a place emotionally and financially that we could do something about it.
And why did she give them to us now?
I don't know, but I do have a feeling that she probably has been thinking about little ones quite a bit lately between our adoption in progress and Missy being pregnant.
I didn't know about the gift until after we had left, but I will make sure that she is thanked properly the next time I see her.
While we were there my Aunt Mary gave Tammy a gift bag.
Inside were 2 Antique Bear Prints, a Soft and Cuddly Chinese Doll, and some baby socks.
There was also a very nice mothers day card for a mommy to be, explaining that she knows the bear prints don't match the nursery but she really wanted us to have them.
Shortly before she gave the bag to Tammy the two of us sat on the couch and discussed the wait time because I had given her an article explaining what was going on in Chinese International Adoption (written by the director of CCAI). After reading it many things became clear to her and you could tell that she really understands what we are going through now. She is the first family member that really gets it, and it was nice to discuss the adoption with a family member and not have to go over everything and try and make them understand.
We discussing time differences, bonding, lack of sleep, and a number of other topics which are all way past the understanding of anyone else in the family.
So why were these prints so important to her?
Apparently she bought them when she was first married and hoped to use them to decorate her own child's room, and due to her ex-husbands insistence that they would not have children never got to use them. Then after he left her she was in so much financial and emotional distress that she could not have handled an adoption even if she had of thought of it.
Now she is old enough that she has just given up on her dreams of being a mother.
Why did she give the prints to us for Kelly?
I think there are alot of reasons, and there are probably some that I have not even thought of yet.
First, I am the only grandchild that almost never misses a family function and this means that we are the ones that my family sees almost every holiday. She knows that family is important to me, and also that once we finally finish this adoption she will probably see Kelly more often than any of the other children. Also when I was growing up I was the first grandchild and there are only 10 years between the two of us so there were many times in her early teens where I was a playmate of a sort.
I also think that she is living out her dreams of having a child through us and probably wishes that she had of been able to do something similar to our IA earlier in her life. She also sees some of her own struggles with wanting to become a parent and not being able to due to circumstances beyond her control.
I think she had similar feelings when my brother asked her to be Lilly's godmother, but as quickly as the joy came so did the heartbreak when they shuffled the stepmother thing under the carpet. I never thought this was right, but then again I seldom agree with anything my brother and his wife do.
At this point Wyatt is the only little one she sees on a regular basis since my brother is very unreliable when it comes to family functions.
So we will have to buy two nice frame to hang these precious gifts in the nursery and someday we will pack them away so when our little girl gets older and she has her own child she can pass them on to him/her.
This gift is so precious because it is a gift from the heart from a very special person who never wanted anything more than to have a little one to hold and love.
Sounds very similar to our own situation.
We just happened to be in a place emotionally and financially that we could do something about it.
And why did she give them to us now?
I don't know, but I do have a feeling that she probably has been thinking about little ones quite a bit lately between our adoption in progress and Missy being pregnant.
I didn't know about the gift until after we had left, but I will make sure that she is thanked properly the next time I see her.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
New Rules for Chinese Adoption - BMI
One of the new requirments for being eligible to adopt from China after May 1, 2007 is "Applicants must be in good physical and mental condition necessary to provide responsible care for an adopted child. Each applicant’s Body Mass Index (BMI) must be under 40."
When this was first released in January I was a basket case.
My BMI is ~31, but Tammy was ~43.
The good news was we met every other qualification, but this one thing threw doubt into the equasion.
When the rule was first announced there was no information if they would be retroactively applied to applicants who were already DTC/LID, or would they only apply to new applicants. Over time it became universally accepted that those who were LID would be reviewed under the old rules, and only new applicants would be required to meet these requirements. Of course this could change in a heartbeat, but for now there is no sense worrying about it.
I did not say anything to Tammy about this other than to mention that it is a requirement and if China started reviewing applications using the rules we could be rejected based on this.
No pressure to try and force her to lose weight.
Then about 2 weeks ago she asked for me to sign her up for Weight Watchers Online. A good friend of hers is on Weight Watchers and she wanted to try it to lose a little weight. So I signed her up and we started with her watching her points. In the last week she has lost 5 pounds and in total she has lost about 1/6 of what she would have to lose to get her BMI below 40.
No pressure on my part, and I am eating the same things as her to help keep her on the plan and try to keep her motivated to continue. Overall it has also been positive to increase the amount of vegetables and decrease the amount of Pasta and starches in our diet. We have also reduced the amount of boxed/prepared foods which we had started to eat because of time issues when we get home from work.
If I had of tried to force her to do this it would have backfired big time, but it has been her idea and she wants to do it.
Would it make me very happy to see her get below 40 BMI?
You would not believe the amount of pressure this would relieve because if we were questioned in review about it she could get a new medical form done and the issue would go away..
But it has to be her decision and drive that will make it happen and I am very happy with the effort she is taking to try and make this happen.
When this was first released in January I was a basket case.
My BMI is ~31, but Tammy was ~43.
The good news was we met every other qualification, but this one thing threw doubt into the equasion.
When the rule was first announced there was no information if they would be retroactively applied to applicants who were already DTC/LID, or would they only apply to new applicants. Over time it became universally accepted that those who were LID would be reviewed under the old rules, and only new applicants would be required to meet these requirements. Of course this could change in a heartbeat, but for now there is no sense worrying about it.
I did not say anything to Tammy about this other than to mention that it is a requirement and if China started reviewing applications using the rules we could be rejected based on this.
No pressure to try and force her to lose weight.
Then about 2 weeks ago she asked for me to sign her up for Weight Watchers Online. A good friend of hers is on Weight Watchers and she wanted to try it to lose a little weight. So I signed her up and we started with her watching her points. In the last week she has lost 5 pounds and in total she has lost about 1/6 of what she would have to lose to get her BMI below 40.
No pressure on my part, and I am eating the same things as her to help keep her on the plan and try to keep her motivated to continue. Overall it has also been positive to increase the amount of vegetables and decrease the amount of Pasta and starches in our diet. We have also reduced the amount of boxed/prepared foods which we had started to eat because of time issues when we get home from work.
If I had of tried to force her to do this it would have backfired big time, but it has been her idea and she wants to do it.
Would it make me very happy to see her get below 40 BMI?
You would not believe the amount of pressure this would relieve because if we were questioned in review about it she could get a new medical form done and the issue would go away..
But it has to be her decision and drive that will make it happen and I am very happy with the effort she is taking to try and make this happen.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Infamous Brown Envelope
Yesterday we recieved the infamous Brown Envelope from the US Foreign Service.
You know, the one that you need to take with you on your adoption trip to China.
My wife opened it and was all excited, and then reality hit when she realized that we probably won't need the contents for a little over a year at least. Just another reminder that it will still be quite some time before we see our little girl.
In fact we still have not even made it out of the review room...
I guess it is another milestone in the process, but with all of the other milestones so far away it just seems like a slap in the face. So we are all set on the US side of things, but in China we still sit in a file that has not been touched other than to make room for more files on the shelf.
In fact at the rate things are going we will be lucky if we even get out of review before our US paperwork expires!!
In the long run I am sure that all of this will be worth it when we bring a little girl home as part of our family, but right now it is very frustrating and depressing.
But at least we have an envelope of paperwork to put away for our trip, when it eventually happens.....
You know, the one that you need to take with you on your adoption trip to China.
My wife opened it and was all excited, and then reality hit when she realized that we probably won't need the contents for a little over a year at least. Just another reminder that it will still be quite some time before we see our little girl.
In fact we still have not even made it out of the review room...
I guess it is another milestone in the process, but with all of the other milestones so far away it just seems like a slap in the face. So we are all set on the US side of things, but in China we still sit in a file that has not been touched other than to make room for more files on the shelf.
In fact at the rate things are going we will be lucky if we even get out of review before our US paperwork expires!!
In the long run I am sure that all of this will be worth it when we bring a little girl home as part of our family, but right now it is very frustrating and depressing.
But at least we have an envelope of paperwork to put away for our trip, when it eventually happens.....
Monday, May 07, 2007
Concurrent Adoptions
Many people are talking about trying to complete concurrent adoptions because of the wait time.
Since this is the hot topic in IA I thought I would express the reasons why we are not following this trend.
First - International adoption is very expensive. Trying to complete one adoption is hard enough without trying to fund a second at the same time, especially while trying to finish renovating the house. There is just no way possible to do two at one time.
Next - I am on enough of an emotional rollercoaster with one adoption going I just can't imagine trying to do two at once.
Also - There are rumors that the CCAA does not like couples trying to do a second adoption while waiting for a referral from China. There is no concrete answer on this, and I just don't want to jeopardize our referral in any way. If we were dumped out of line we could not reapply because Tammy does not meet the BMI requirements and we would not be eligible until she did.
Finally - I am not sure that as a new parent I could handle 2 young adopted children with the issues that they could have all at once. I am not sure that many of the people are thinking about this and just know that they don't want to wait. I cannot imagine both being delayed and getting referred at the same time with travel requirements, attachment, health issues, ...etc. Many people say that it would be like having twins, and I am not sure I agree.
I am also not convinced that other countries will slow down if there is a sudden influx of people from the China program, and suddenly many of them may be stuck in 2 lines at once with no referral.
Then what will they do?
So I will continue to wait in line and pray that we get our referral in the 2 year time frame.
At this point we are rapidly approachine a year, is another 12 months really that long?
Since this is the hot topic in IA I thought I would express the reasons why we are not following this trend.
First - International adoption is very expensive. Trying to complete one adoption is hard enough without trying to fund a second at the same time, especially while trying to finish renovating the house. There is just no way possible to do two at one time.
Next - I am on enough of an emotional rollercoaster with one adoption going I just can't imagine trying to do two at once.
Also - There are rumors that the CCAA does not like couples trying to do a second adoption while waiting for a referral from China. There is no concrete answer on this, and I just don't want to jeopardize our referral in any way. If we were dumped out of line we could not reapply because Tammy does not meet the BMI requirements and we would not be eligible until she did.
Finally - I am not sure that as a new parent I could handle 2 young adopted children with the issues that they could have all at once. I am not sure that many of the people are thinking about this and just know that they don't want to wait. I cannot imagine both being delayed and getting referred at the same time with travel requirements, attachment, health issues, ...etc. Many people say that it would be like having twins, and I am not sure I agree.
I am also not convinced that other countries will slow down if there is a sudden influx of people from the China program, and suddenly many of them may be stuck in 2 lines at once with no referral.
Then what will they do?
So I will continue to wait in line and pray that we get our referral in the 2 year time frame.
At this point we are rapidly approachine a year, is another 12 months really that long?
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Way too tired..
Well I have spent the last couple of nights up until almost 1AM working on things for Orvis.
This combined with the stress here at work and at home just has me wiped out.
Last night Tammy and I had a little fight over something that I would have normally let slide, but I was so close to the edge that she got both barrels. We then spent an hour with her crying, but for once I did not let her get away with what she did. I was just fed up and she punched my buttons and I still had hours of work ahead of me. After she had cried we talked and I think she understood why I reacted the way I did.
Things have been horrible at work, I have an addition that needs to be finished and funded, the adoption is so much up in the air right now and we still need to save enough money to pay for the rest of it, I have spent many hours running Tammy to meetings and such, Danby is having septic issues and it is somehow my problem, my laptop needs to be reinstalled and there doesn't seem like enought time to deal with it, and we are tight on money right now due to the huge number of extra bills this month.
And did I forget ro mention that Tammy wants to talk about what we are going to do for Missy's baby shower, and I just want to scream "I could really care less".
All this adds up to a stressed out husband that is tired and has a hair trigger.
So she went to her Grange meeting, and I sat at home working on OLAP cube maintainance for work.
She got home from her meeting and went to bed while I continued working.
It is said that there is no rest for the wicked, if this is true what did I do that was so horrible.
This combined with the stress here at work and at home just has me wiped out.
Last night Tammy and I had a little fight over something that I would have normally let slide, but I was so close to the edge that she got both barrels. We then spent an hour with her crying, but for once I did not let her get away with what she did. I was just fed up and she punched my buttons and I still had hours of work ahead of me. After she had cried we talked and I think she understood why I reacted the way I did.
Things have been horrible at work, I have an addition that needs to be finished and funded, the adoption is so much up in the air right now and we still need to save enough money to pay for the rest of it, I have spent many hours running Tammy to meetings and such, Danby is having septic issues and it is somehow my problem, my laptop needs to be reinstalled and there doesn't seem like enought time to deal with it, and we are tight on money right now due to the huge number of extra bills this month.
And did I forget ro mention that Tammy wants to talk about what we are going to do for Missy's baby shower, and I just want to scream "I could really care less".
All this adds up to a stressed out husband that is tired and has a hair trigger.
So she went to her Grange meeting, and I sat at home working on OLAP cube maintainance for work.
She got home from her meeting and went to bed while I continued working.
It is said that there is no rest for the wicked, if this is true what did I do that was so horrible.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
My cousin is pregnant - So what!
Over the weekend I had dinner with my parents and grandparents and while having dinner we were informed that "Missy is pregnant".
While I am happy for her it also presses down on my heart as I sit in line and wait for the child that we have been trying to have for several years.
While we were driving home Tammy asked me "Isn't Missy's news exciting?"
I sat there as I drove and grunted a little bit in acknowledgement, but what I really wanted to say was "I really don't give a crap!".
I know this sounds selfish, but right now I am more concerned about the time it is going to take to get our little girl.
It is getting to the point where I wonder if we will ever complete this adoption.
Did we do the right thing?
Should we have applied somewhere else?
Will we make it through review?
So far the wait has not been bad, but depending upon which gloom and doom prediction you look at we may only be 1/4 of the way through our wait.
I think the biggest emotional drain is that no one knows, but everyone has an opinion.
And those opinions are now showing up all over the place as fact..
It also didn't help that my Grandfather was asking how much longer it will be, and as I look at him I see and feel (when I help him into the house - he is a leagally blind WWII Vet) how old and frail he has become. In under a year he has become a shadow of the man he once was, and I wish more than anything that he will get to hold his granddaughter before he dies.
Unfortunately I don't know if this will be possible and it saddens me because she will miss out on meeting an amazing man who would have showed her an incredible amount of love.
I will never count him out because he has cheated death so many times. A bullet striking his service bible that was in the pocket over his heart, tanks being blown up under him, being left for dead in a field hospital, prostrate cancer, heart bypass surgury, and those are only the things I know about..
It is just emotionally painfull to see him slowing down and wasting away. He is so light now that a good stiff wind would blow him away.
Also in the last year he has started looking back on his life and expressing regrets, wishes, ...etc.
This is not the man that I grew up knowing..
And with all of these things on my mind there just isn't room for a discussion of Missy's baby.
While I am happy for her it also presses down on my heart as I sit in line and wait for the child that we have been trying to have for several years.
While we were driving home Tammy asked me "Isn't Missy's news exciting?"
I sat there as I drove and grunted a little bit in acknowledgement, but what I really wanted to say was "I really don't give a crap!".
I know this sounds selfish, but right now I am more concerned about the time it is going to take to get our little girl.
It is getting to the point where I wonder if we will ever complete this adoption.
Did we do the right thing?
Should we have applied somewhere else?
Will we make it through review?
So far the wait has not been bad, but depending upon which gloom and doom prediction you look at we may only be 1/4 of the way through our wait.
I think the biggest emotional drain is that no one knows, but everyone has an opinion.
And those opinions are now showing up all over the place as fact..
It also didn't help that my Grandfather was asking how much longer it will be, and as I look at him I see and feel (when I help him into the house - he is a leagally blind WWII Vet) how old and frail he has become. In under a year he has become a shadow of the man he once was, and I wish more than anything that he will get to hold his granddaughter before he dies.
Unfortunately I don't know if this will be possible and it saddens me because she will miss out on meeting an amazing man who would have showed her an incredible amount of love.
I will never count him out because he has cheated death so many times. A bullet striking his service bible that was in the pocket over his heart, tanks being blown up under him, being left for dead in a field hospital, prostrate cancer, heart bypass surgury, and those are only the things I know about..
It is just emotionally painfull to see him slowing down and wasting away. He is so light now that a good stiff wind would blow him away.
Also in the last year he has started looking back on his life and expressing regrets, wishes, ...etc.
This is not the man that I grew up knowing..
And with all of these things on my mind there just isn't room for a discussion of Missy's baby.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I took the Looney Tunes Personality Test
Yosemite Sam!
A low-down, ruff, tough, and mean varmint, your aggressive energy, vulgar attitude, and cynical outlook make you one mean SOB when angered. Little scares you, much annoys you, and a pin-drop can set you off. This is not all bad however, your anti-social adventuring spirit leads you to blaze trails other fear to tread. You could really find your place on the frontiers of civilization daring to take the risks others would only dream of and reaping rewards they can only envy. For good or bad, you'll never back down from a fight. You might want to think about medication or therapy however...
Monday, April 30, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
November 1st
There are some good signs that the cut off date for this months referrals will be November 1st, 2005.
Personally I am very excited by this because after last months 2 day batch I really did not expect that the CCAA would get out of October.
This doesn't seem like huge progress, but it is reported that these days have HUGE numbers of parents with LID.
So this seems like a huge accomplishment to me and now we just have to get through November before things pick up a little bit because of smaller months.
And since I guessed that the end of October would take 2 more months we just shaved a month off of our wait...
Personally I am very excited by this because after last months 2 day batch I really did not expect that the CCAA would get out of October.
This doesn't seem like huge progress, but it is reported that these days have HUGE numbers of parents with LID.
So this seems like a huge accomplishment to me and now we just have to get through November before things pick up a little bit because of smaller months.
And since I guessed that the end of October would take 2 more months we just shaved a month off of our wait...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Florida in Spring of 2008
Well with the wait time for our adoption increasing by the minute Tammy and I have decided to start planning a Trip to Florida in May of 2008. With everything that is happening at work and at home we figure that we will seriously need the time away by next year this time.
Originally we had wanted to wait until after the adoption was completed to travel to Florida again because it would allow Kelly to experience Disney for the first time and it would allow Holly and Brina to meet her.
Now we figure we will be lucky to go to China to adopt her by the end of 2008 and we will need a distraction from everything next spring. In fact I could use one right now, but with everything going on at work it just isn't an option at this point.
Originally we had wanted to wait until after the adoption was completed to travel to Florida again because it would allow Kelly to experience Disney for the first time and it would allow Holly and Brina to meet her.
Now we figure we will be lucky to go to China to adopt her by the end of 2008 and we will need a distraction from everything next spring. In fact I could use one right now, but with everything going on at work it just isn't an option at this point.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Proof that we are not the only people looking for their child
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in Sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he Dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper."Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through The earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again,whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."ME."
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he Dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper."Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through The earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again,whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."ME."
Chinese Sonogram - A little humor as the sun comes out
I found this image on the internet which gives adoptive parents a sonogram. Even though you are not really pregnant you still have the IA rollercoaster to ride and in some respects I think things would be easier to deal with if my wife was pregnant. Alos on a positive note, the sun is shining and the temperature is rising. Basically a great day!!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Spring storm takes out the lights
Well I missed a post, but have a perfectly reasonable explanation.
It is really hard to post when you don't have any electricity.
So no lights, heat, water, or anything else.
The power went off Sunday night and is still off and the house was down to about 55 degrees this morning. So I fired up the propane heater and heated water for a sponge bath before going to work. The best part is that it looks like it will be a couple of days before the power comes back on.
WOW - We went home for lunch and the power was back on. We both took showers and feel mostly human again.
There are many people in Rutland County who could be without power for days so I feel very fortunate.
It is really hard to post when you don't have any electricity.
So no lights, heat, water, or anything else.
The power went off Sunday night and is still off and the house was down to about 55 degrees this morning. So I fired up the propane heater and heated water for a sponge bath before going to work. The best part is that it looks like it will be a couple of days before the power comes back on.
WOW - We went home for lunch and the power was back on. We both took showers and feel mostly human again.
There are many people in Rutland County who could be without power for days so I feel very fortunate.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Friday the 13th and it is still snowing
Well it is Friday the 13th and the snow and gloom are still hanging over our heads.
Nothing new on the adoption front, other than a rumor that if you pull your application for any reason from China you will forever be banned from applying again. Personally I hope a huge number of people do pull their applications so I can get closer to the front of the line.
I know, very selfish of me but that's life.
Personally I can't see many people sticking it out when they thought that they would have a 1 year max wait and the wait time is rapidly approaching 2 years. IMHO People are going to jump ship to other programs with the illusion that their adoption will happen quicker. Then that program will slow down because of the number of applicants. Then they move to another program, and the cycle continues... If people do this the rest of us will benefit, and not complain about the decrease in wait time.
Hopefully after the weekend it will warm up and the sun will once again show it's face in the sky.
Then I can get back to work on the addition and spring cleanup.
Nothing new on the adoption front, other than a rumor that if you pull your application for any reason from China you will forever be banned from applying again. Personally I hope a huge number of people do pull their applications so I can get closer to the front of the line.
I know, very selfish of me but that's life.
Personally I can't see many people sticking it out when they thought that they would have a 1 year max wait and the wait time is rapidly approaching 2 years. IMHO People are going to jump ship to other programs with the illusion that their adoption will happen quicker. Then that program will slow down because of the number of applicants. Then they move to another program, and the cycle continues... If people do this the rest of us will benefit, and not complain about the decrease in wait time.
Hopefully after the weekend it will warm up and the sun will once again show it's face in the sky.
Then I can get back to work on the addition and spring cleanup.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Boy today sucks!!
I am sitting at work listening to Fleetwood Mac and trying to deal with work pressures and deadlines.
Tons of things that need to be finished and no one will answer the questions required to complete anything. Add to that the doom and gloom flying aroung the IA world and I am having a very hard time concentrating on anything.
I am trying to write SQL and all I can think about is our adoption and the wait for referral.
Things flying through my head include....
Will the wait continue to extend?
How many more years will we have to wait?
Will China close the country to IA?
Will we be disqualified because of Tammy's BMI?
Will we be denied during review because of some other factor?
When will our application even hit the review room?
I promised myself that I would stay out of the rumor mill, but when China changed its requirements after May 1, 2007 I started getting nervous. Now I can't stop myself because I am waiting for them to say that they are now going to apply the new rules to the backlog.
Maybe not rational on my thought, but not getting a referral scares the shit out of me. We have tried for so long to have a child that there are times when you begin to believe you are never going to have a child.
Add to that the fact that over the last couple of weeks with being around family for the holidays you see all of your nieces and nephews and think about what it would be like without raising a child. Also, everyone in our families can't understand why the wait is so long and the most common questions are about how much longer do we have to wait.
I also have to confess that my grandparents are getting up in years, and both of them are showing their years. Not only does it concern you that they may never meet this child that they know we are tryign to adopt, but it weighs on my mind that they might not see another Christmas. There has been such a drastic downturn over the last 6 months, especially for my grandfather.
Probably some of it is cabin fever, and Mother Nature isn't helping things because it is 15 degrees colder than it should be and it is a mixture of sleet, snow, rain, and freezing rain outside.
It is that time of year when you should be able to get outside and clean up from winter, but winter just won't go away. Now the snow will have to melt a second time and we can go through mud season again, oh Joy..
I can handle alot of stress, pressure, and anxiety but today I could almost scream/cry over it all. I am ready to be done with winter and move on to spring so the flowers can start to bloom and things won't be cold, damp, and white.
There is always something about spring which recharges me.
Hopefully we will see spring flowers soon.
Tons of things that need to be finished and no one will answer the questions required to complete anything. Add to that the doom and gloom flying aroung the IA world and I am having a very hard time concentrating on anything.
I am trying to write SQL and all I can think about is our adoption and the wait for referral.
Things flying through my head include....
Will the wait continue to extend?
How many more years will we have to wait?
Will China close the country to IA?
Will we be disqualified because of Tammy's BMI?
Will we be denied during review because of some other factor?
When will our application even hit the review room?
I promised myself that I would stay out of the rumor mill, but when China changed its requirements after May 1, 2007 I started getting nervous. Now I can't stop myself because I am waiting for them to say that they are now going to apply the new rules to the backlog.
Maybe not rational on my thought, but not getting a referral scares the shit out of me. We have tried for so long to have a child that there are times when you begin to believe you are never going to have a child.
Add to that the fact that over the last couple of weeks with being around family for the holidays you see all of your nieces and nephews and think about what it would be like without raising a child. Also, everyone in our families can't understand why the wait is so long and the most common questions are about how much longer do we have to wait.
I also have to confess that my grandparents are getting up in years, and both of them are showing their years. Not only does it concern you that they may never meet this child that they know we are tryign to adopt, but it weighs on my mind that they might not see another Christmas. There has been such a drastic downturn over the last 6 months, especially for my grandfather.
Probably some of it is cabin fever, and Mother Nature isn't helping things because it is 15 degrees colder than it should be and it is a mixture of sleet, snow, rain, and freezing rain outside.
It is that time of year when you should be able to get outside and clean up from winter, but winter just won't go away. Now the snow will have to melt a second time and we can go through mud season again, oh Joy..
I can handle alot of stress, pressure, and anxiety but today I could almost scream/cry over it all. I am ready to be done with winter and move on to spring so the flowers can start to bloom and things won't be cold, damp, and white.
There is always something about spring which recharges me.
Hopefully we will see spring flowers soon.
A post every day..
I have made a promise to myself that I would try to add a post every day during the rest of the wait for our referral. That had been easy until today when I am reading posts about the expected wait time going to 3 years and am more than a little bummed today. In my heart I do not believe that it will get this extreme, but it is also very easy to fall into the pack and believe all of the speculation.
My belief is that once we get through the end of '05 things will be better as the months in '06 seem to have fewer people waiting in them. I am also holding out hope that more babies will be made available because I believe that China wants it's program to "fly under the radar".
Too many people complaining about the wait time brings them into the spotlight just as quickly as sending too many babies out of the country. So I have hope that we will see the wait extend a little more, and then settle back into a more even pattern.
Does this mean the wait will drop back to 9 months?
No, but hopefully it will stabilize at 20 - 24 months.
Hopefully tomorrow I will have something to write other than another complaint about having to wait for so long.
My belief is that once we get through the end of '05 things will be better as the months in '06 seem to have fewer people waiting in them. I am also holding out hope that more babies will be made available because I believe that China wants it's program to "fly under the radar".
Too many people complaining about the wait time brings them into the spotlight just as quickly as sending too many babies out of the country. So I have hope that we will see the wait extend a little more, and then settle back into a more even pattern.
Does this mean the wait will drop back to 9 months?
No, but hopefully it will stabilize at 20 - 24 months.
Hopefully tomorrow I will have something to write other than another complaint about having to wait for so long.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Fun Facts about China
Ice cream was invented in China around 2000BC when the Chinese packed a soft milk and rice mixture in the snow.
China is the fourth largest country in the world.
China is sometimes a day ahead of the United States.
The Chinese year is based on the cycles of the moon. This is called a lunar schedule. A complete cycle of the Chinese calendar takes 60 years. The Chinese calendar dates back to 2600 B.C. It is the oldest known calendar.
Each year is represented by an animal. There are twelve animals which represent the twelve months.
When a Chinese child loses a baby tooth, it doesn't get tucked under the pillow for the tooth fairy. If the child loses an upper tooth, the child's parents plant the tooth in the ground, so the new tooth will grow in straight and healthy. Parents toss a lost bottom tooth up to the rooftops, so that the new tooth will grow upwards , too.
It is considered good luck for the gate to a house to face south.
We know that the Chinese grew rice as long as 5000 BC Archaeologists have found rice grains in farming tools and pots from that period.
Long ago, silk making was a closely guarded secret. Anyone who gave the secret away could be killed.
The Great Wall is so large that astronauts have seen it from the moon!
At one time, Chinese patriots hoped to rid themselves of hated foreign conquerors. To announce the time of an uprising, the patriots hid messages in moon cakes.
Red is considered a lucky color in China. At one time wedding dresses were red. New Year's banners, clothing, and lucky money envelopes are still red.
Fourth graders are expected to know 2,000 of the over 40,000 written Chinese characters. By the time they leave college, they will know 4,000 or 5,000 characters. Each character is learned by looking at it and memorizing it.
Unlike the 26 letters of our alphabet, words cannot be sounded out letter by letter.
Delays not of our making...
So it is almost 7 months since we had our LID and with the huge delays I am looking back on the entire process of getting to our LID. There are many things which I regret that I did not push to happen faster but at the time everyone was saying 9 months to referral so it did not seem like a big deal. Now that we are looking at a 20 month wait those same things are an irritant because it means even more months added on to our wait.
The delays started with the first visit to our local social worker. We walked through the door and had our first appointment and handed her all of the info that we knew was required and she says "Wow, usually I spend the first session explaining to my clients what they need to do and the documents they have to have for my home study."
The rest of the session was really a waste because we had already had everythign that she needed sitting in front of her so she proceeded to ask us questions covered in the questionare that she had sent us and we had already filled out.
Then we had to wait for our next appointments because she was soooo busy.
Finally we had all of our appointments taken care of, and she told us she would get us our home study by Friday. Well Friday came and went, and then the next Friday came and went.
And so on....
Finally after several weeks and multiple e-mails and phone calls the draft of the home study arrives. Several things are incorrect so I make changes and send it back for her to finalize the document.
And then we waited....
She returns it to me with none of the changes done. So I once again send her the corrections.
And then we waited...
Finally we got the final home study and we finished authenticating\certifying the document.
Then we waited for our LID of September 12, 2006.
The total of this time (not of our making) is probably 3 months.
Factor this by the current delay in processing referrals and this equates to over 6 months added wait time that we would not have had if certain steps in the paperchase were handled more efficiently by our social worker.
Next time (if there is a next time) she will find that I will not be likely to give any slack in getting things done.
Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.
The delays started with the first visit to our local social worker. We walked through the door and had our first appointment and handed her all of the info that we knew was required and she says "Wow, usually I spend the first session explaining to my clients what they need to do and the documents they have to have for my home study."
The rest of the session was really a waste because we had already had everythign that she needed sitting in front of her so she proceeded to ask us questions covered in the questionare that she had sent us and we had already filled out.
Then we had to wait for our next appointments because she was soooo busy.
Finally we had all of our appointments taken care of, and she told us she would get us our home study by Friday. Well Friday came and went, and then the next Friday came and went.
And so on....
Finally after several weeks and multiple e-mails and phone calls the draft of the home study arrives. Several things are incorrect so I make changes and send it back for her to finalize the document.
And then we waited....
She returns it to me with none of the changes done. So I once again send her the corrections.
And then we waited...
Finally we got the final home study and we finished authenticating\certifying the document.
Then we waited for our LID of September 12, 2006.
The total of this time (not of our making) is probably 3 months.
Factor this by the current delay in processing referrals and this equates to over 6 months added wait time that we would not have had if certain steps in the paperchase were handled more efficiently by our social worker.
Next time (if there is a next time) she will find that I will not be likely to give any slack in getting things done.
Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.
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